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Feed the hungry soul

You know you knew but you don't know when or how but you know you knew. Yes, still processing a couple of 'facts', that i dont have any full siblings anymore ( i say anymore as in what i knew to be true beforehand) and i do have 8 half-siblings- in that 'group' i have 3 new brothers and a sister...and a new dad..whose ...irrelevant..or is it?..not so much. I have always been a curious cat, a researcher by nature, a digger, a reacher. So upon being 'hit' with these new facts..was a proper bang over the head, i wanted to ..nay..needed to find out find out and find out my...roots.(remembering my mother has dementia so merely flinches at past peoples names and her husbands children ( as i who i thought was my dad) have zero involvement in my family life so who knew? did they ? did mum ? did dad?...maybe only i knew..all along . Thankfully i have my mums dear sister who helped as much as she knew, but hers were just hunches, but those hunches were like critical evidence when i began trying to trace when and who i was born from - Petrochelli eat your heart out- no flies on me..well not know anyhows. So last few months my ancestry dot com has more or less set itself on fire with my very usage and even the 'bot' the other end are wondering if im a security threat as im on it the best part of the wee hours. Who was my dad? Who was his dad, who was his mum ? etc etc etc. Some folk would rest enough with the ht over the head with the new news...not me ..i have to delve deeper further higher farther. Thus far im more than happy to feel inside that i am now 49% Irish and scottish ,10% Swiss and I am a descendant of Irish immigrant who exodused to the industrialised cites in the 1800's in their millions when the shit hit the fan in rural ireland. Bradford is now my new home of curiosity....from what ive learnt there were some hard core grafters and hardcore USA travellers in my newly discovered line i said you know you knew..but you dont know how or when..but you knew.... next stop Bradford...and then Ireland + Scotland. My soul is on a feeding frenzy

“A starved soul can become so filled with pain, a woman can no longer bear it. Because women have a soul-need to express themselves in their own soulful ways, they must develop and blossom in ways that are sensible to them and without molestation from others.”

Clarissa Pinkola Estés


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