i recall reading the next words when i was travelling Australia for a year in my twenties " Stopping writing my diary was a stun to the memory " - that sentence clung into mind & stayed there like an old coat you put on the back hook that gets covered with other coats but it is still there and occasionally gets uncovered to remind you. I cant remember the author of the words but i think it was Clive James, author, presenter and memoirist - those words never left me...for some reason.
Anyway safe to say its been a long time since i wrote- i havent wanted to , I still dont want to but i must want to as im writing .
The last year has been about my death, i died one day this year the day my mother forgot who i was . I have screamed silently & grieved in my bathroom - the bathroom is my church-thats it thats all i wanted to write